All You Need is Love

Sometimes life makes it hard to still believe in love. Every day there are temptations thrown in our faces, rules changed, promises broken, and dreams shattered. We meet new people, form relationships, take chances, and often walk away feeling defeated and alone.

But every now and then a person comes along that offers a glimmer of hope. A small ray of light in a dark and confusing world, where we are not only struggling to find out who others are, but also who we are ourselves. When that person comes into your life you want to celebrate. You want them to know how happy you are, and how happy they make you. And you should share that... EVERY DAY.

Valentine's Day has become a bit of a controversial holiday, full of stereotypes and expectations. If you say you don't like this holiday, you are bitter. If you say you love it, you're a conformist. Where do I fall on the spectrum? I'm a cynical hopeless romantic. As my brother would say, "That's a wicked combination."

I don't believe you need a designated holiday to celebrate how much you love and care about someone. First of all, the holiday colors- red and pink- clash horrendously. Second of all, those little conversation hearts... they taste like chalk. No romance in that. Third of all, there is no reason to save a date, evening activity, special event, or dinner for this particular night, when you can realistically do these things at any given time. If on June 2 I was surprised with a romantic and spontaneous evening, well, THAT would be MY Valentine's Day. No Hallmark card needed.

And who's to say that the love celebrated needs to be a romantic love? Love comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. It melts, it grows, it develops in unexpected places, it fades and is then revived. The symbols of love should not consist of flowers, candy, and jewelry... they should be the things that take form as you learn to love. The pictures taken and letters written. The small "I saw this and thought of you" tokens. The rooms filled with laughter and tears. The phone calls and text messages just because. Personally, I don't save these things for a boyfriend or husband... they should be shared with everyone you love. The imprints left on your heart don't simply come from cliche dates and good sex... they come from the spot in your brain that tells you, wow, I really love and need this person in my life.

So yes, if you love someone, show it. But don't save it for Valentine's Day, or any other holiday for that matter. Make it an every day thing. Because in the world we live in, and the hard times that everyone in this country is feeling, the one free thing we can give is love.

And that's something that everyone needs.

Do you have a letter?

Do you have a relationship that changed your life? Did it end in a way that left you with unanswered questions, a broken heart, or simply a lack of goodbye?

So often we are told, “write a letter but don’t send it.” It helps to collect your thoughts, it sometimes brings closure, and it gives you a chance to say goodbye to a relationship that deeply affected you. I've written and rewritten letters to my loved ones in all shapes and forms. Some can be found in my journal, some in my outbox, and some are simply word documents hidden in a folder on my computer... all safe harbors for the words better left unsaid. 

As alone as you may feel at certain points in your life, it's comforting to know that someone else understands, or has experienced what you have thought or felt.  Letting go of that letter- putting it out in the universe to share with others- can be liberating and therapeutic.  Which is what brings me to ask of you...

Share your story, if you have one that is.  If you don't, or you are not ready to share just quite yet, pass the word on to a friend or family member.   

Take a few moments to respond to the questions below. If you already have a letter written to an ex please submit that as well… if not… start writing! The letter can be to anyone... an ex-boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, an old friend, a lover.  Make sure the letter is anonymously addressed- only you should know who it is.

Send me your answers in an e-mail- clm1126@gmail.com. Or if you'd rather, just send your letter.

Thank you for sharing your story with me...  

1. Please state your age and gender:

2. What is the relationship of your ex to you? (Boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, friend, lover)

3. How long did you know this person?

4. How long has it been since you were last together?  How long since you last saw each other/spoke to each other?

5. How did you meet?

6. Why did you break up? Or if there was no romantic involvement, why is this person no longer in your life?

7. Have you moved on since? What is your relationships status now?

8. What did you take from this experience? Why is it important for you to write this letter (or if you already wrote it why did you do it)?