Unreconciled.

As a choreographer, the hardest part is not teaching the steps but teaching the meaning of the movement.  Young dancers often struggle to grasp the message that a song or piece of music is trying to convey, and emotions are not something that can be taught.  Over the years I have found that asking the students to assign a "word" to a piece of choreography can help them to understand the character, facial expressions, and body language they should be communicating.

I like to do this in life sometime as well.  A single word can often be much more powerful and effective than a long string of meaningless or redundant words.  People will ask me how I feel about a situation and I answer with a single utterance:  Frustrated.  Ecstatic.  Depressed.  Longing.  Sassy.  Angry.  Overjoyed.  Overwhelmed.  Empty.  Peaceful.  Numb.

I was listening to my Pandora radio a couple of months ago and it led me to a song by Peter Bradley Adams called "Unreconciled."  When I took a closer look at the lyrics, I found that they fit well with the concept of "Unspoken Heart," and the theme of many of the letters I have received.  The song also inspired me to dig deeper into the question, "What is your word?"

I wanted to share these lyrics with you... hopefully they will find you wanting to share the relationship in your life that left you "Unreconciled."  If not... well download it anyway.  It's a great song.

In the meantime, think about what your "word" is.  You share yours and I'll share mine....

"Unreconciled"

By: Peter Bradley Adams

Is it hard to live in silence

When I look you in the eyes

Well you crave forgiveness

But still don't apologize

Is it love that you're afraid of

In the words that you ignore

Well we made a promise

But we can't stay here anymore

'Cause you gave everything that you could give

And this is the only life that I can live

And I am grateful

But I've grown weary of this fight

So no regrets, it's better left unreconciled

I can see the way you tremble

You don't mean to make a mess

I don't want to get angry

'Cause I'll regret the things we said

And there's a sound from down inside me

That I've never heard before

And it says surrender, there's no work here anymore

'Cause you gave everything

That you could give

And this is the only life that I can live

And I am grateful

But I've grown weary of this fight

So no regrets, its better left unreconciled.

The Soundtrack of My Life

When I was three or four years old I used to "work out" with my dad in the basement of our house in Brooklyn.  I don't remember actually exercising, but I can tell you the song that was playing was always The Pointer Sisters, "I'm So Excited."  Fast forward to my seventh birthday party, when the only song I wanted to hear was "I Want To Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston.  As I grew up, the music I listened to came to define my life and some of my greatest memories.  To this day, when I hear a certain song or artist I am instantly transported to the moment those lyrics hit me.  I like to think of it as the soundtrack of my life.  

Debbie Gibson, "Lost In Your Eyes"-  I'm bike riding up and down my neighborhood block, Walkman in my little fanny pack, wearing my "Debbie Gibson" hat.  Boys II Men, "On Bended Knee"- I'm on a bus in sixth grade, singing my heart out because at the time I hadn't yet realized I was borderline tone deaf.  The Tony Rich Project "Nobody Knows"- I'm crying over boys with my best friend during one of our countless middle and high school sleep-overs.

K.C. & Jo Jo, "All My Life" (Stop laughing)- My first glimpse of young love.  Sarah McLachlan, the entire "Mirrorball" CD- My first glimpse of young heartbreak.

Aerosmith, "Crazy"- Lawn seats, PNC when it was still the Garden State Arts Center, senior year of high school.  My first "I'm so cool I'm here with my friends" concert.

As I grew up, my taste in music matured and I became not only wrapped up in what was pleasing to my ears, but also the words and emotions that came along with it.  As a dancer, you communicate with your body.  Each movement, gesture, look, and breath gives meaning to the exquisite picture that the music has painted.   When I began choreographing pieces and not just performing, I tore into the guts of the song, interpreting and analyzing every word and beat.  I think back to more recent memories, and the songs I hear not only bear an image of a person or place, but also a feeling.  

I hear the soothing voice of Amos Lee singing "Southern Girl" and I'm down at the beach on an unusually warm fall day, quiet all around, an air of happiness in the car and a peaceful feeling in my heart.

The first chords of Jason Mraz's "You and I Both" play on my iPod and the same tears that welled in my eyes during that final encore at World Cafe Live still linger at the tips of my lashes.

Bryan Adams' "Summer of 69" blares loud on the stereo and I can't help but smile, laugh, and sing at the top of my lungs, college memories running rampant.  Dixie Chicks plays and I think of my best friend, and how she has turned my tears into laughter more times that I can count.

Train, "I'm About To Come Alive."  I can literally feel the music in my soul.

As support, inspiration, and feedback for this blog has continued to filter in, my ideas have expanded into so many different realms.  I've come to realize that while people may enjoy reading these entries, not everyone feels comfortable expressing themselves in their own writing.  So I invite you to submit your words in whatever way choose.  Whatever way you find easiest to express yourself, may it be poetry, song, art work, or photography.  

You never know who's life you may be inspiring, what memories you may be creating, and how you may actually be speaking the unspoken words in someone else's heart.