Walking Away

Walking away from something you've put your heart into is never easy. It's part of your history, a chapter in your book, a frame that hangs on your wall of memories. No one ever knows when to walk away... sometimes you linger because it's comfortable and easy, other times you stay for fear of what the future holds. But those who are able to do it successfully open themselves up to paths of endless possibilities, as a friend of mine once pointed out.

There are people in this world who will make the decision to walk away easy for you. Whether its with unkind words, thoughtless actions, or inconsideration for your feelings, the more times you get beaten down the less likely you are to get back in the ring. I have spent the past year haunted by faces and voices who have both intentionally and unintentionally done everything in their power to rain on my happiness. I have encountered selfishness in it's ugliest form and a lack of graciousness from those who I have gone above and beyond for. I've tried my best to avoid some of the most pathetic and sad cases of people, those who really don't have a clue and never will, but somehow, someway, their faces manage to resurface time and time again. And finally one recent morning, I woke up empty. I realized that caring too much can be a burden. I began to understand that there is truth to the idea that people don't realize what they have until it's gone. I'm reluctant to admit that it's better to be the bigger person and do the right thing, even if it's not appreciated.

And I'm walking away. I'm leaving behind 5 years of memories, pain, love, passion, commitment, strife, confusion, frustration, success and failure to start anew. No one likes change.

I'm scared, I'm sad, but I'm doing what's best for me. I hope any of you who may find yourselves in this position have the strength to do it. It's both the weakest and most powerful I've ever felt in my life.

But as my mother told me last night, "You are not given things you cannot handle."